The 12 Emotions of the School Nativity

1. PANIC: my god these people have been queuing for an HOUR to get in! Will I even get a seat?! ….crap I haven’t even got a pound on me to put in the bucket, will I even be allowed in?!

2. DISCOMFORT: somewhere in the world there must exist ‘uncomfortable chair shop’ where all schools are legally required to shop. Thanks for highlighting how specially challenged my arse is

3. EXCITEMENT: it doesn’t get much more xmassy than this. It’s CHRISTMAS!! CHRISTMAS!! Woohoo!!

4. REFLECTION: I can’t believe this is real. I’m a mum watching a school show. How in the name of baby Jesus did that ever happen?!

5. STRESS: ok here they come, oh no he can’t see us. We are literally sitting in his blind spot, couldn’t have got a worse seat! Now he’ll think we’re not here, oh no this is terrible

6. JOY: ok he’s moving onto stage. There it is, he’s clocked us. Oh look at him, our little Shepard!!… Hmmm, yep he’s kind of just looking at his doing lots of mini fist pumps and shouting ‘yes!’…that’s our boy!

7. TEARFULNESS: why is this making me cry?! Is it the small children attempting to walk like sheep? Or is it how chuffed his little face is to be showing off his song. Whatever it is I’m literally bawling

8. TERROR: ok some of these kids are actually massive. Like double the size of Phoenix. And some of them are kind of doing narration reading. Who are these giant intello-kids?!

9. SADNESS: one day all this will stop, it will be over before I’m able to take it all in…

10. RELIEF: indy. We still have indy to go. It’s like having one in the back pocket for later when all the fun is running out. #Phew.

11. ANNOYANCE: I’m not sure if this is a story about mary&joseph or Bill gates & Steve jobbs, seriously people PUT DOWN the devices….Especially if you’re using iPads to take photos because you actually look like a plonker

12. PRIDE: ahhhhhh there’s my Shepard cuddle. What a star. Love love love





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