The admissions office turned me into Louis Walsh’s ‘wild card’


So I’m sure since I wrote my last ranting post about not getting an offer at school you’ve all been on tender-hooks to find out what happened next.

You forgot?! You’ve never even read this blog before? You just arrived here because you searched for ‘baby booties that stay on’? What?! (that is literally my most searched for post in 4 years, despite pouring my heart into many a topical issue, its clear what really gets stats, keeping booties on our babies feet. You have a point… welcome!)

I digress. As always.

So we now have an offer at the school. We got the letter a few days a go. Everyone told us we’d get a place in the first round of second offers but it didn’t happen. I couldn’t believe it. But no end of me walking around the local town telling everyone how far we lived from the school (281 metres in case you hadn’t heard), was doing anything for us. And clearly my letter the one where I refused the school a 40 min drive away, yeah the one in the rough area after we paid through the nose to live in this area, did nothing. The admissions office took zero interest in my 3-page letter in which I detailed my whole life, marriage, career, birth of my children and my feelings on everything from their shitty system to how rainbows are formed. I’m pretty sure they didn’t make any revolutionary changes to the system despite me explaining that their system was more confusing and pointless than the entire rule set of Ackey 123 that I regularly played aged 8-12 years old (a popular midlands-based game. Essentially an elaborated game of hide and seek with a few pointless rules thrown in to make it feel you’re in the army. It is AWESOME. We’re simple creatures at heart us Midland folk).

Anyway we got the letter and the same day I got a call from the school office.

Now whilst I am obviously very happy to have this place and relieved the stress is over, I felt myself starting to push back on all the ‘congratulations!’. Here I was celebrating – literally whooping and cheering, at getting into a school I can literally see from my kitchen window. This should just be what happens. This is not a cause for celebration; this should just be life!

I shouldn’t be made to feel like the wild card in X-Factor by the bloody woman in the admissions office boasting around like she’s Louis Walsh.

‘Sooo Mrs Martin… I’m calling to let you know…..[pause]…….[pause]….that we….[pause]…[pause]…..have a place in the school for Phoenix’…

She may well have said…”I’m sorry Mrs Martin……I’m sorry, that you’re….. going to have to buy a new school uniform, because Phoenix is IN THE SCHOOL! WOOOOOOO!!!”

It’s a school. At the end of my road. We should have got in in the first place.

Because also the wild card in X-Factor is always a bit crap aren’t they? Sort of tainted. It’s kind of exciting at first but they’re always the one who didn’t get in straight away, the one used to create a bit of drama. We’ve already missed the induction day where all the kids meet the teachers and play with the toys. We’ve missed the parents evening where we get told how school works and everyone meets each other. We’ve even missed the summer fete (well we could of gone but it was chucking it down, but STILL! It’s the principle! That woman in the office probably fixed that rain! ON PURPOSE!). I will not celebrate any further.

Because also I don’t want to celebrate, because now the stress of that is all over I have to really think about what is really about to happen. My little boy is going to school! I can’t believe I have a child that will be in school. It is actually mental. That’s proper grown up stuff, I will now maybe have to start being a bit sensible? Parents with kids in school are like PROPER ADULTS!! Argh!

I can list lots of things in my life that have made me feel like an actual grown-up but having children isn’t one of them. I still feel like I did when I was 25, but to think I’ll have a child in school is just bonkers – I’ll have to go to parents evening and stuff and help with homework! In comparison to my current list of things that have made me feel like an adult, it’s definitely up there…
– being introduced as someone’s boss
– signing someone’s passport photo as a ‘professional’
– having a dessert wine after dinner
– saying ‘there’s no room in the back there’s two car seats in there’
– cooking xmas dinner in my own house
– having an official organized place for ‘towels and linen’
– drinking coffee
– eating olives (and enjoying them)
– getting a library card without been in full time education
– getting my lip threaded and the beautician asking if ‘I want my chin done too?’

School will be a challenge for me and Ben, (I realise phoenix comes into this too but lets focus on us for a sec!). Ben will struggle with the friends, the fitting in, the being influenced, the erosion of innocence and the lessening in impact that parents have as the years tick by. Sigh. I will struggle with the education system as whole. I will find it hard to stomach the pressure and demands that 24/7 learning places on today’s kids. Sigh. I will want him to do LEGO when he should be doing maths, I will urge him to spend more time on the subjects he loves and is passionate about, than those he should be working on to improve. I will find it hard to tell him there is a point to understanding Pythagoras Theorem, when he’s probably better off learning how to code.

All of this will make me feel like a grown up. I am not 25.

But when he is 25 I want him to be having the most kick-ass life he could have and I’m not sure maths will get him there alone. Oh and also the school rules state all pupils must have ‘neat, short trimmed hair at all times’.

Yeah, Ben and I are going to really struggle with school.

The wild card is coming.


One thought on “The admissions office turned me into Louis Walsh’s ‘wild card’

  1. Jake says:

    There’s always a point to learning Pythag! #lovemaths 😉

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