I’m having some kind of parenting epiphany. I’m calling it a mumiphany (hmmm, thats not going to catch on is it?) All this time away from work and time in the home is turning me into some kind, well, ‘home-maker’ (I think that’s what their called, I’ve never been one before I’m finding my feet here). I have spiralled into ‘we must buy a house in the next 6 weeks’ frenzy and I have a friend coming over next week just to bake. I’m spending a lot of time thinking about what my bake will be; I am literally becoming Mary Berry (Pft, I wish, no one is that petite from a diet of pastries, I mean, seriously?!) Plus I spent about 20 mins yesterday looking at a range of sugar jars (essential stuff when you’re a home-maker ya’ see) before I concluded that we don’t really use that much sugar, like ever
….except in baking that is, hmmm maybe I’ll go back, one did have a lovely frosted glass…
Dare I say it…I’m having a lovely break! I wouldn’t have described maternity leave last time as a break; I very much felt like I had a full time job. A different job of course, with much less sleep and more direct contact with bodily fluids, but a full time job all the same. This time as I sit here typing my blog in Pret with a green tea (the hot chocs have had to stop owing to postnatal body blitz commencing next week), I’m thinking….bloomin’ heck, this is freaking awesome! I know I blog about this a lot, but I’ll say it again, being a working mum is real tough. Add on top of that being in charge of a business and it makes for a lifestyle that’s not for the faint hearted. For the first time in a long time I’ve been able to look at my pre-maternity life with fresh eyes. It makes me feel a little motion sick and also makes me laugh a bit. How do I it?! Arrrghhh. Where does the time come from?! I’m confused, I’ve already forgotten how to be me! Looking at it from this side of the fence, I would describe myself as a contemporary, humanised-mum version of the tasmanian devil, rushing EVERYWHERE, juggling Captain America costumes with client meetings (fatal to mix them up, no one wants to see me squeezed into a toddler Captain America costume, my thighs just arent’ what they were in my kick-boxing days. Sigh. ‘Thigh-sigh?! sorry I’m digressing). How am I going to do that again with 2 children in the picture?! I may be chillaxin now, but I know I need to soak it up while I can..
I do however also know that I’m not destined or even cut out to be a full time mum. I love my kids, but I have all these ideas in my head ALL the time (seriously it’s like a medical condition), I know there would come a point where dare I say it, I would get bored. Does that make me sound awful? I hope not. For now and for the short term future I am loving every minute, I haven’t had this much time to myself for ages and I feel like I’ve rediscovered the mum inside me. Part of the experience of having Indy bought an unexpected surprise in that is has allowed me to appreciate and bond with Phoenix even more. Navigating the introduction of a new person in the house has felt like a team family experience, with him very much at the heart of it all. That’s been fantastic and I love seeing him in ‘big brother mode’. It feels really great to have so much extra time with Phoenix too and to be the FIRST mum to pick him up from nursery every week (and not arrive puffing and panting with a ‘tube sweat’ on. I feel like I’m recapturing some of the lost hours with him from working away and late over the last couple of years. My guilty conscious is restoring in a way I thought was impossible!
As part of my mumphinay (is it catching yet? Shall I type it a bit more?), I have this overwhelming motivation to reorganise my life. I’m determined that when I do get stuck back into work I’ll be better at ‘being me’. Ha. So I’m thinking of ways I can get more family meals together on the table, how we can better plan our holidays, be more efficient with the shopping so we don’t run out of milk every week etc etc….Surely it can be easier right? These are great ambitions and I’ll continue to amuse myself with more of them, but I’ll come back to you next year with how its going (opening with a rant about how there’s been no milk in my house for 2 days….)
Indy is just over 5 weeks now and we have started to have some smiles! Woo! Natures lovely reward for making it through the early days, and I accept it with with much love 🙂 I feel like I have come back to life and fully recovered from labour and the first few hazy days – no doubt you yourself are probably thinking ‘wow this post is significanlty funnier with less typos than the previous post’. Indy’s still being a very chilled easy baby (is there a cut off point where you know this isn’t a fluke and that’s just what she’s like?! Please, let me have passed it, this is awesome!) She feeds a couple of times in the night but doesn’t cry, I just hear her snuffling around like a hedgehog in a pile of leaves, feed her and she goes straight back to sleep which is very considerate. She also doesn’t really ever poo in the night so I don’t have to disturb her with changes – Phoenix also used to do this, is it a clever baby trick or do I just produce children with efficient bottom control? What a skill to have. She is most awake and restless in the evening – the classic witching hour for babies. She does a bit of cluster feeding between from 6pm and is usually down by 9pm after a few failed sleep attempts and waking up for more food. I then give her a bottle of expressed milk before I go to bed, it zonks her out much more as she drains it quickly, she’ll then go till 2am and then about 6am which is 5 weeks is pretty damn good. One thing I have noticed about how you behave differently second time round is that you tend to put the baby down much more. It’s really easy to fuss over your first -to pick them up and attend to them at every cry or snuffle but they can get over stimulated really quickly (horrendous flash backs of Ben showing Phoenix a ‘bubble app’ on the ipad at about 4 weeks old…no wonder he’s bonkers). From the day she was born Indy was constantly being fed, cuddled, swaddled and put down to sleep. The house and the people around her are all very chilled and calm (I just got another green tea) I seem to remember with Phoenix ‘attending’ to him much more and this is my personal hypothesis that I reckon affects lots of babies behaviour (shall I write I book? Just call me the baby whisperer…no don’t I’m far to noisy for that). Indy is just in this lovely cloud of love and affection peppered with some screenings of Dispicable Me and an older brother bringing her teddies by placing them on her head. If I was a baby I reckon it’d be pretty cool being Indy and that makes me feel pretty proud.
Right signing off, almost about to be running late for nursery….old habits die hard! Next week…operation baby body. Stay tuned, who knows I could be **slipping into that Captain America costume for my 100th post….**
**For those with sense of humour issues, the words here are a joke. This could be the most embarrassing thing to hit the internet since that Panda did a sneeze