Indiana joined the world 4 weeks a go today. It’s already hard to imagine life without her in it before. It’s been a whirl world experience this time round and completely different to new born life with Phoenix…
When she flew into the world a few weeks ago (yep its true what they say, things move much quicker second time round…thank god) it was a really different experience and special in its own way. When you’re expecting the second one its hard to imagine how you can ever love another child as much as your first and if its really possible to have that much love to share for another small person. Of course when it happens it is the same hormone induced overwhelming feeling of love pride and emotion for this thing you can’t ever imagine how you lived life before they came along. You can never really prepare yourself or explain that moment when you see them for the first time or when you see your husband cuddle them for the first time or ever for the love that your family around have for your kids too…its simply joyous.
Life back at home was an interesting experience. Last time I distinctly remember putting the car seat in the middle of the room, looking at each other and literally saying ‘hmmmm so what do we do now?’ This time the conversation was more a long the lines of ‘what time are you picking Phoenix up from nursery and what are we having for dinner I’m starving?’ The attention was very much on Phoenix for the first couple of weeks. I felt obliged to make a big point to him that he wasn’t going to be abandoned or forgotten and that he was still special. So the first day I was back from the hospital I was doing the bedtime story routine. In fact life returned to normal pretty much straight away, there was less of a ‘new born bubble’ this time around and more of an adjustment to adding another member to the household. So my return to normality went something along the lines of this:
Day one: Indy born in a relatively calm and speedy labour. Ben couldn’t believe his luck when she was out after pushing on only a couple of contractions, he seemed to imply that the fact this didn’t happen last time round was an inconvenience to him….
Day two: hospital bound. General staring at new creation – A GIRL! With like girl bits and every thing! Wild! Phoenix comes to visit, his little face when he saw his new sister was probably the cutest thing I’ve seen. “It was lovely to meet Indy daddy!” awwwwww, melts the heart…. the present from her also helped a lot 🙂
Day three: home in the afternoon. Bed time story routine – “mum you still have a belly, is there another baby in there?” Thanks for that Phoenix.
Day four: baking cupcakes with Phoenix. “Mum now the baby is here you can bend down now for LEGO”. Good to get our priorities straight with the recovery process.
Day five: taking Phoenix to the park, forced to the top of the climbing frame. “Mum you can come up here now the baby is out!” ….. “oh christ i feel like my whole insides are going to fall out!!!!”
Day six: Over did it, landed myself back in bed for a day. “Mum can you swim yet?” …. thank god for grandparents and nursery.
After a week I was out and about as normal waking to the shops etc and by week three I was delighted to be back in the baby cinema – whoop whoop, hello maternity leave! I think the recovery from labour this time round was much much harder though. Aside from the cake baking and climbing frames I really had to force myself to rest more and even now am trying super hard not to do anything too soon too fast – so desperate to exercise but trying to be patient (not a natural skill). It’s easy to forget the labour was only a few weeks a go as life returns to ‘normal’ much quicker. Its nice to feel confident to go anywhere and do anything though, the stresses and worries are drastically reduced and there’s more time to focus on just getting to know her.
In the days when Phoenix is at nursery I literally don’t know what to do with myself. As I set up my biz when Phoenix was 6 months I have worked pretty solidly for 3 years on it and this really the first time I’ve stepped back and had any time to myself. She’s such a chilled and easy baby, I sometimes feel like I’m on holiday and part of me feels really naughty when he goes off to nursery, like I’m having a sneaky break! I’ve watched the whole of ‘Orange is the new Black’ on netflix (freakin awesome by the way), been to baby cinema twice, done lots of napping, had afternoon tea with friends and done A LOT of shopping. I never have time to mooch around shops and its such a luxury! I’ve practically planned my whole post baby body wardrobe for a few months down the line and started buying xmas presents. Ben is terrified. He may confiscate my purse soon so I’ve started selling loads of stuff on ebay to provide some shopping spending money. I know too well though that these sleepy days will come to an end soon though so I’m making the most of them.
The main thing I would say about the difference between having number one and number two is that first time round you become a parent, second time round you become a family. The change to your lifestyle with number one is a complete shock to the system. It can be overwhelming and difficult to adjust to. With number two you’re already a parent, you’ve established the type of parent you want to be, and you’ve somehow managed to navigate your way to this point already with your first so you have an underlying reassurance and confidence. You are now a family, a little unit with exciting times and adventures ahead. Its not that we weren’t a family before, but it was more like it was me, ben and Phoenix….Now its team Martin! This dawned on me rapidly one day in a short simple text ben sent to me. It said – ‘how are the kids?’. Not ‘how’s phoenix?’ but how are the kids, kidSSS, KIDZZZZZ….at first I felt a bit sick, christ I suddenly felt like I had 100s of them and it sometimes feels like that when they’re both in our bed in the morning. But then I smiled, it was cool, I like it, it does feel like there are 100s of them at times, and its super bust and hectic when they’re both in full attention needing mode…but i like it. It’s fun. But we’re going to need a bigger bed…and house to put it in. Sorry Ben, I’ll be needing my purse a little longer…