“mummy, do you have a willy?”

IMG_1445So I thought I would just pause from the preggo updates to fill you in on child number one, aka Phoenix who is now 2.5 earth years.

This is a really fun age, it’s kind of like he’s been this age for ages now. I feel like I really know him; he has a voice and interests and I feel really intuitive about the little things he says and does. It’s really different to the baby or even toddler phase, it’s like he’s, well, a real human! I have massively enjoyed the talking phase (no surprises there motor mouth) I find it so amazing the things that come into his head and where they come from. Plus his memory is nuts, he remembers EVERYTHING! He STILL talks about how once he went to a cafe and a lady dropped a plate and it smashed…this was literally about 6 months ago. Or how there was once a massive bird poo on the car (4 months ago) or how he dropped his screwdriver down the water pipe and couldn’t get it back (it was sunny must have been over 8 months ago?!) What a combination of memories to be living your day to day life by!

As you may have noticed with many of my blogs I tend to talk like this up front, get all the gushiness out, talk about the lovely side, make myself feel loving and caring and a ‘good mum’ (ugh what the freak does that mean?) and then I like to get down to business about the reality, about the other side to the loveliness, because lets face it there’s ALWAYS another side with kids…

So talking is awesome, no argument there, my favourite phase by a long shot. But there are moments when you reflect on the days they couldn’t answer back, when they didn’t know that there were Pom Bears in the cupboard and couldn’t ask for them….300 times over. When they didn’t know how to tell you to stop talking to someone when you’re in the middle of a conversation or to put down your phone making you feel definitely not like a good mum. Or when they ask to go the toy shop EVERY day for a month and whilst they’ll happily recite a list of cars they’d like to own (NOW!), seem to have no ability to respond to your spiel about how things cost money and how you can’t be spoilt and you have to earn treats….convenient when they lose the ability to answer back isn’t it?

And so already at 2.5 ‘the questions’ have started. I’ve never really sat down and thought IMG_1453what my response is going to be to these questions about sex and bodies (it’s become fairly clear I’ve bumbled my way through this far without reading any books I’m unlikely to start there…hmmmm perhaps this is my problem!!), so I suppose I’ll just freestyle. How hard can it be to answer this stuff? I’m not prudish, I’ll just tell it like it is, there is no question I won’t answer. Hmmmm, lets take a look at how that’s going so far:

P: Mummy do you have a willy?

E: No mummy doesn’t have a willy because mummy is a girl and girls don’t have willies

P: Mummy! (giggles) Are you a girl?! (slight amused confusion) 

E: Yes mummy is a girl and daddy is a boy like you

P: what do you have then?

E: What do you mean what do I have?

P: (points to crotch area) there, what do you have there

E: *thinks* for christs sake why is there no cute alternative to vagina!? i am not saying vagina, not yet. NO! Nor fanny. I’m not having my 2 year old saying fanny! Erm… pie? No. Flu Flu? Ridiculous…ok, ok, here goes…. Erm, mummy has a peach (blame my mother) 

P: *also thinks* But that’s like an apple

E: Bugger. Who the hell has given him a peach they’re not even in season?! Yes, sort of but that’s what mummy has there, a peach (way to go nut job)

P: Mummy are you still a girl?

E: Since I last checked yes I am a girl yes

P: But can you still talk?!

E: I know it may seem amazing to your male brain, but yes I am a girl and I can still talk

P: oh. Mummy when is that baby coming out?

E: (please don’t go there yet…i need to recover from this peach debacle first)….In the summer, in August, not yet

P: Shall we call it poo?

E: (oh thank god!) YES!!! we’ll call it poo, great idea! Right bed time…





2 thoughts on ““mummy, do you have a willy?”

  1. Denise Brinicombe says:

    The best thing is to be upfront ut I do agree adult names for parts of the body are just too much for children!!!!
    I had it thought out before that question arose but so embarrassing!! (We had tinkle and front bottom as childhood names for intimate body parts)
    Oh dear maybe thats just too much to divulge!!
    I was alway as honest as possible and found that up until the age of ten or so they only wanted simple explaination and their curiosity seemed quite self limiting.
    Having said that they always ask you something very embarrassing when you have friends or family over or even worse!
    On the way home from school with my eight year old daughter her friend suddenly told us the her dog had her period just like her older sisters had one every month. Awkward!!!
    Hurriedly part explained and had the longer more honest version at home.
    I thought eight was quite young to have that conversation though.

  2. codirenteria says:

    Oh my gosh! So freaking funny! I have thankfully avoided the awkward body parts talk so far. (Knocking on wood)
    Http:// http://www.codirenteriaphotography.com

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