Time is such a beautiful thing. I look back at it like an old friend. Fond memories spent together doing things and making more time for doing even more things. Ahhhhh it really was great. When I think back to some of the things I had time to do before babies and business I sometimes catch myself with my jaw open, aghast at how self-indulgent life was, how many of the things I used my time for were about me – everything geared around my body and my mind. Flip me it was good. Check out some of these things I once used to do with my old friend, time…
Completed 4 week hula hoop course
Completed x 2 pole dancing courses (seriously how they do it AND look sexy is beyond me, I took sweating and panting way into another direction…)
Longboarded to places (without falling off)
Had a personal trainer…wait for it…TWICE a week (WTF?!)
Went to back to back gym classes followed by a swim AND a sauna (that’s approx 3 hours in the gym…3 hours!!!)
Had monthly massages and eye lash tints (ahhhhh)
Regularly mooched the streets of London enjoying cultural and shopping based activities
Went to weird quirky dance performances at the theatre with Ben
Read lots of books
Sunbathed at every available opportunity
Drank cocktails and stayed out beyond 10.30pm
Moved to the other side of the world for a bit
I mean seriously, when I look back at that stuff its like looking at the habits of a crazy (yet awesome) lady with too much time and money! When you’re in that stage of being able to come and go as you please you don’t really think about it, it’s just normal isn’t it, no really stops their life for a moment and thinks ‘OO this is ruddy good isn’t it?’ Or at least I never did, I always just get on with what I’m doing now, I’ve always been quite a spontaneous decision maker, not really the type to think – ‘Hmmmm not sure I should have a baby, might have to cut down on those hula hoop courses…’ I suppose I knew that stuff would stop one day but I just never really thought about it.
I would certainly love to indulge in some of those activities again (the massages and
personal training have quite frankly never been more needed), but in the glorious hindsight of family life, it just feels so, well, selfish. My time now is spent between basically work and family with a little me-time somewhere in between, (ugh I hate that expression…which is ironic coming from someone who sounds like they gained a diploma in it once upon a time). But I think I prefer it this way. So I’m not as toned as tanned as the time giving days (bugger), but I think I feel much more fulfilled. Does anyone really need to spend that much time on themselves? (a little gym bunny inside me still screams, yes, yes they do!) The satisfaction of putting time into another little person and seeing the pay off of that time you’ve committed is indescribable. Plus I’ve never spent so much time in so many museums, that’s pretty awesome.
But seriously, there really is no time for anything anymore. I am rushing here and there every week, travelling with work, commuting, rushing to nursery, meetings, friends, family, parties, I’ve never been so busy. At the end of last year there was one week where I finished a project, went to an awards dinner, threw up as I can’t drink any more (and couldn’t handle the free night pass) then got on a plane the next day, flew to Taiwan, did 5 presentations in one day, flew home and landed to a text message from saying “CHICKEN POX! Do not be alarmed but your child is covered in pox and needs his mum”….that was a pretty insane time.
Life keeps me on my toes and I really try my damnedest to get the balance right, sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. It’s just the way it goes. And sometimes I just outright loose the plot – I have conversations with people where I am looking at myself in a weird out of body experience, hearing and seeing myself repeat things I know full well I have already told them (probably three times) or checking a date for the 20th time. But you pull yourself together by talking to yourself like this – ‘get a grip woman, people are starting to consider putting you in that looney bin you probably belong in…’ (hmmm perhaps in these situations where people already think your nuts, talking to oneself is perhaps not the best plan of action..)
I recently turned 30, which kind of sucked as I always imagined myself in my 20s…it didn’t quite work out so here I am in club 30. It’s ok so far, the birthday helped – Ben organised dinner in a Mexican underneath a sex club, was awesome. Since being in my 30s I have tried convincing Ben I am more out of breath and a bit more hard of hearing, but he has no sympathy. My endless 20s have long been an annoyance and personal insult to him so he’s happy I’ve hopped over in land of the 30s. I hope that by starting a family fairly early I’ll be able to cash in on some time back later on in life (before I am really short of breath and hard of hearing). Hey, if you ever hear a story in the news of a hula hooping skateboarder putting on pole dancing class for the over 40s, then you’ll know I made it out the other side! Look me up! But for now I am happy with my busy bee life, its fun, exciting and at times just freaking hilarious. Besides, with a baby and business to run, it can’t get any busier can it?
Oh, yeah….did I mention I was having another baby?
ARGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! Time come back, I miss you, I take it all back! COME BACK!!!!