Well I knew this time would come. It’s arrived. And even though I knew it would come eventually, I’m bloody hacked off about it…I am no longer number one parent. No longer the recipient of endless cuddles and no longer the one who can resolve any Phoenix related issue. Nope, it’s official, Phoenix is completely in love with his daddy – well he always has been of course, but now he likes to be perfectly clear about that fact, particularly to me, and more specifically he likes to communicate in as many ways as possible that Ben is far more fun, interesting and enjoyable to be with than me. Humph. Well it was only a matter of time before he sussed it out. I mean how can I compete with someone who takes him to the park with a home made light sabre to shoot their own star films together?! I mean, seriously?! This is a not a fair competition.
So lately I have felt myself steadily becoming the ‘food, toilet and coat woman’ and not just by Phoenix directly, but in fact we’re all sliding into those roles – ‘Ems Phoenix and I are just going to build this while you fix his lunch’ …. ‘I’m going to Tesco while you guys are making a traffic jams of cars around the entire ground floor of the house’…what’s going on here? I refuse to be labelled as ‘food, toilet, coat woman’, there’s more to me than that for gods sake! I run my own company, um, I have cool trainers, I have this blog
(which I’m crap at updating), I, um once did a flying trapeze course, I used to long board, oh for christ sake, who am I kidding, I’m so boring compared to Ben. The problem is, is that Ben is just amazing at playing with him (yes I realise that’s a good thing, and not a problem but still,…humph). Whilst I play with him to spend time and be with him, Ben is playing because, well he genuinely wants to play, in the same way that Phoenix does. There is just only so far I can get excited about making a traffic jam line of cars (which by the way is surely a game invented my toddlers to make working mothers feel guilty about leaving them all day – I mean who needs to make a giant traffic jam after an hour on the tube?!). I have tried to my avail to engage Phoenix in things I love doing (selfish? me?! never). When I was a child, I was obsessed with sticking, gluing and all things arts and crafts and I have tried endlessly to get Phoenix into this stuff. Maybe he’s a bit young but he’s just not going for it, it quite simply does not have enough action…or wheels. He’ll be into it for about 10 mins then he just looks at me all sort of unimpressed as if to say ‘ah well, you tried mum, good effort. Right, now get down there, make ambulance noises because I then want to jump up and down on your stomach 15 times and then make the biggest traffic jam you’ve ever seen’. Sigh.
Perhaps in a recent effort to prove my ability to be a cool, fun mum we dressed Phoenix up for a Halloween party. I took a pair of old jeans and grated them with a cheese grater, snipped them and smeared them in fake blood. He had a skeleton top and I went for zombie face paint, classic white with back dark circles. Ignoring his somewhat perplexed ‘mummy are these jeans a bit scary?’, we rocked up at the party to discover a room of children dressed as bunnies, unicorns and a friendly witch at a push. No one looked impressed with our zombie child costume. We left after about 15 mins. Ah, this arts and crafts thing just isn’t cutting it yet. But I will prevail you see! I’ll be back here before you know it boasting pictures of glittery phoenix art work….famous last words. How can you resist glitter?! I mean come on! It’s glitter! My time has not all been to wasted though, after a recent glitter enforcement session when he lost interest as usual, I thought to myself, ‘it’s only fair I carry on and finish his picture…it’s what he wants, I know it is’. After spelling out his name in neat glue glitter lines complemented by some post-modern cutting and sticking, Ben came in to discover my handy work ‘Wow Ems you’re really good at glittering’. Well there we have it, at least someone is appreciates my talents….even if it is the competition 😉