Mummy mates

This week I decided that I needed some mummy mates. Whilst looking after Phoenix is a joy, it can get a bit lonely at times – he still sleeps a lot! And I also felt the ‘itch’ to chat other mums in the same situation as I’ve been curious to hear how others are getting on. I’m the first one out of my group of friends to have a baby so everyone is at work in the daytime so I need some playmates!

I know that getting on the ‘mummy circuit’ is a big part of having a baby but it’s something I’ve been a little apprehensive about. I’m not sure why, I think it’s because it’s a whole new social world and just because someone has a baby doesn’t mean you’ll want to hang out with them! Plus I had this feeling that it might be quite intimidating as everyone has different ways of doing stuff.

So as a soft introduction to mummy socialising I went to the baby screening at the Odeon and watched Knight and Day. This way I knew that if I wasn’t up for socialising I could just sit in the dark and watch. It was an awesome experience – it’s basically a cinema screening full of mums with babies where they have low lighting and a room to store your pram. I chatted to a few mums who were all amazed I was up and about so soon after delivery. I felt all proud myself I did! Phoenix was very well behaved but refused to sleep because he wanted to sit on my lap and stare at the screen throughout the whole film. He was totally mesmerised.  As Ben is such a film geek it was a relief to report that his son seems equally in ore of the big screen!

Going to the cinema was my first experience feeding in public and it was quite nerve racking. Once he’d started feeding I remembered that about 3/4 of the way through his feed he always gets really noisy and makes loud ‘ey-or’ noises like a donkey. It was pretty quiet in there at the time and I was waiting for it to come – it did, loud as ever, but the other mums just laughed. Thats’s what’s great about being around other mums and babies is that everyone is really empathetic. During his feed two 14 year old boys wandered into the wrong screen by mistake. Their eyes nearly fell out their head when they turned the corner and saw me there with my boobs out; I’m not sure if the best or worst moment of their summer holidays, but they looked very startled…

On Friday morning, determined to keep up the good work I dragged myself off to my gym which has a kid’s centre and runs a mummy coffee morning. When I arrived I thought “I’ll just throw myself into this” so I went up to a mum and asked if I could join her table. She looked quite alarmed and an awkward silence proceeded to follow -great, not a good start. I tried to make conversation but she clearly just wanted to read her book. I went to get a drink and when I returned to the table I realised I ordered exactly the same thing as her. Now it felt like we were on some kind of odd first date. I was about to leave when a pair of very friendly, lovely mums turned up and started chatting to me. This was a bit more what I’d hoped it would be like. I really enjoyed meeting them, and just a few comments about their own experiences of feeding and sleeping made me feel confident and reassured about what I’ve been doing. So in the end it was worth going, I guess I was right, it’s just pot luck who you meet but having a baby is definitely a golden ticket into a whole host of new social activities so now I’ve done a couple, I say bring it on!

Hope everyone had good weekends!

Ems x

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2 thoughts on “Mummy mates

  1. Tash says:

    While I’m not the first of my friends to have a baby, those who have embarked on this adventure before us are spread out around the world – or at least on the other side of London, so I can empathise with your need to find new mummy mates. I’ve recently joined the NCT and the latest Wimbledon and Wandsworth branch magazine has a whole host of breastfeeding cafes and mother-and-baby exercise classes, so I might check those out after baby’s born. Or failing that, I’ll take your lead with the Odeon!

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