So here we are a day beyond our due date. No big deal so far I guess but if I go to two weeks over I think I’ll turn into a crazy lady. My mum kindly reminded me in her comment on my last entry that I myself was 12 days late….this isn’t looking great!
Fairly low-key day today. I started writing a new book but felt a bit guilty as I haven’t finished my last one yet. Kind of feel like I’m cheating on it! I’ve had the TV on in the background all day and can’t believe that I actually heard these words emitted from the screen: ‘darling I’ll shout louder and for longer than you ever will because there’s a sign up there that says it’s The Jeremy Kyle show‘….jeeze, he must have been working on that one all week. The man is clearly mental. Although day time TV itself does have the tendency to send you mental if you leave it on for long enough. I’ve now totally convinced myself that the chef Phil Vickery from This Morning secretly hates Holly Willoughby. Now I do have a bit of soft spot for Holly and have been known to dream of us being best mates and having our own show called “Willoughby and Worrollo” (my strange maiden name pre Martin) so this hate campaign is something I’ve been keeping an eye on. I think that Phil is bitter because Holly took over from Fern Britton (his wife) and is much younger, cooler and hotter. Every time she makes a joke or a comment he seems to slam her down or not indulge in her humour. Damn you Phil! Holly I’ve got your back….OMG, what the hell am I talking about?!
I can’t believe I’m going to be a mummy soon, it’s so weird and exciting and scary all at once! I’ve read many times in multiple leaflets and on websites that it’s really normal to have anxieties about being a new parent (erm, obvs) so I thought I’d share a few of mine today. Some are fairly normal I’m sure and some are perhaps a bit more obscure. If you’re reading and you’re expecting too then let me know what yours are:
1) Instant baby love
I’m confident that this won’t happen to me but I can’t think of anything worse than going through labour, meeting the baby, and not feeling a surge of love. From what I’ve heard from other mums there’s an instant, overwhelming feeling of love when the baby is placed in your arms and this is something I’m looking forward to so much that I sometimes worry that I won’t get it. That would be hell, but as I said pretty sure it won’t happen.
2) Having a grown-up child
Ok this is a bit mad, but the thought of having a grown-up child really freaks me out! The idea of having an 18 or 20-year-old feels so weird! I know that I make this fear even more irrational by always picturing myself with an older family at my current age! Clearly that would be weird. So maybe it’s more about me getting old than the kids growing up, but it’s definitely a weird concept for me to get my head around!
3) Lack of sleep
I really like sleeping. Not any more than usual, but just getting a good nights sleep. Better get over this one quickly me thinks…
4) Leaving the house
The idea of going outside for the first time with a new baby is petrifying! Equipment, people looking, crying in public, feeding out and about…there’s so much scope for disaster! It is something that I’m planning to conquer pretty early though as I can’t stand being kept indoors; I feel like one of those chained up dancing bears if I have to stay inside for too long so got to get over this challenge quick!
And that’s kind of it (you can really see the extent and depth of my thoughts there 😉 Everything else I’m really looking forward to! Another evening another night of waiting, lets see what or should I say who tomorrow brings!