A while back I asked on my Facebook page for some post suggestions. What? You didn’t realise I had a Facebook page? Well let me take this opportunity to give it a shameless plug – click HERE to go to the page, click like and join the fun. That page has been very useful to me – it was through this page that I discovered the right moisturiser to cure Phoenixs’ scales, it’s where I got a good recommendation for a trust fund and it’s where I discovered that going to stage 2 car seat was decided on weight and not age (see where would I be without you?!) There’s almost 100 peeps on there now and if you’re one of them please feel free to write on the wall to find out anything you want to know, it’s great to get a conversation going. Mums know best so you may as well ask 100 of them. Oh and Ben’s on there too, should you need to know how many films Arnie has made whilst you’re trying to get your head around weaning.
So anyways, someone suggested I write a post about entertaining babies (thanks!). I think this is a very good suggestion and one that is certainly pertinent to us right now. In my naive pre baby days I assumed that babies were quite easily entertained: a bit of a tickle, a quick round of peek-a-boo, a squeeze on a squeaky thing and bang, one happy baby. Right? Hmmm, it would seem it is not quite as simple as this. When I think of the Romans (I know, it’s tough to keep up with this sometimes isn’t it, hang in there…imagine being inside my actual head, knackering), I envisage these men in white baggy sheets, lying on their side, sipping juice, a pudgy belly sticking out, demanding that the people around them entertain them. Phoenix is a Roman. He is a non-stop playing machine. He cannot sit still, cannot focus on anything for longer that 30 seconds and has now discovered how to ‘sing-squeal’ if he’s not peaking at maximum entertainment level.
To his credit, he will give anything a go and everything is an adventure; he laughs a lot and everything he picks up or looks at that amuses him he says, ‘oh?’ – beyond cute. My main bug bear however, is that he is not really interested in toys. I was so excited about getting to shop for baby toys but as of last week I give up. That’s it, no more toys… honestly! If other people buy him toys, then great, I will more than give them a go, but I will use my money to buy other things such as make-up. No I’m not being selfish, he LOVES rattling around my blusher and studying my eye lash curlers with an expression that can only mean ‘what the f*** are these things?!’ (I’m not suprised, those things look like like part of an alien abduction kit). So there you go, we all benefit from having more Mac products in the house.
The moment I thought ‘no more toys’ occurred last week when I decided to engineer a scientific test (please note that no babies were harmed in this experiment). I caught his attention from across the other side of the room and had him watching me with interest. From behind my back I slowly revealed 2 items. In my right hand was an all singing, all dancing V-Tech laptop with buttons that make noises, a lid you can open and close and a dancing squirrel on the screen. A dancing squirrel; does it get much better? Apparently so…In my left hand was a measuring jug. A plastic, empty, boring measuring jug. We all know what happened next, hence the fact ‘no more toys'; he looked at that jug like it was the greatest thing on Earth. He held it, chewed it, banged it and carried it around with him for at least 45 seconds – RECORD!!! So that’s it. No more toys.
Despite enjoying shopping and buying cool toys I have to say we don’t actually have that many in the house. I started to feel a bit like a neglectful mother as I visited the homes of a few other babies (their mums invited me it was fine), and I noticed stacks and stacks of toys. The reason we haven’t gone mad with toys is that I live in fear of our house becoming ‘plastic fantastic'; all the beeps, the batteries, the neck breaking wheels at the bottom of the stairs – I’m trying to put it off for as long as possible. But since ‘measurejug-gate’ my guilt has gone, in fact, I’m having the last laugh – he has enough pots, pans and wooden spoons to keep him amused for at least, oooooo lets see, 3 minuets and my make-up collection has never looked so inviting.
So here’s Phoenix’s top 10 list of entertaining things to do. He wrote this himself, hmmm… maybe he did like that laptop after all, thank you dancing squirrel. Ask your baby to add theirs to the comments below; you know how I love a good comment:
1) Wooden spoons – I just can’t get enough of these things. Round. Straight. Round. Straight. Round. Straight. Freaking amazing.
2) Wires – god, I want them sooooo bad. I want to touch them, hold them, bite them. They’re so…wirey. Argh, I wish I could just roll around in them.
3) ipad – well finally; a baby toy worth having. I‘ve got my own farm for goodness sake! Yes! My donkey is quite the character, you really should meet him some day.
4) Doors – open. close. open. close. Bang. Ouch. Open. Close. Open. Close. Bang. Ouch. I just dunno what it is, I can’t help it, I just love those doors!!
5) Stones – have you seen these things!? Hard, totally off limits, get mum in right tizz and impossible to chew. They are the shizzle; get yours in a garden near you.
6) Truck - mum got me a Brio wheely truck thing. It’s totally retro man. She tightened up the wheels though so I can’t go that fast, I zooming when it came out of the box, damn safety precautions! But, I’ve gotta say, it’s pretty sweet to have my own wheels.
7) Balls – you touch them, they roll, you crawl to them, you touch them, they roll. Wild.
8) Cats – my nanna has a cat. Holy smoke; that is they best toy ever invented. All these bits to pull. And don’t even get me started on the cat flap – MIND. BLOWING.
9) Toothbrush – probably one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. It’s kind of like a mini wooden spoon but you’re encouraged to put it in your mouth and the taste is quite remarkable.
10) Colluder – I have absolutely no idea what on earth this is, but thank you, just thank you to whoever made these. Shiny, holey, curved with handles that easy to grab and smash against things. The greatest 30 seconds a baby can have.